Relationship news rocks warriors

The warriors woke up to somber news this morning as they accessed their fakebook pages to check up on the latest news from their gang.  Last night Splurt announced that he is in a relationship and the collective thud of lard asses hitting the floor could be heard 'round the world.  Splurt has not made comment to his bevy of heifer loves, but was seen riding off on a stolen Huffy when questioned about his new love interest.  It was reported his only comment to our investigators was STAY TUNED!